Living in America

Posted by on Oct 12, 2011 in Life

After traveling around the world a bit, one gets an outside, more objective look at how America functions and how it compares to other the countries of the world.

Many of today’s greatest thinkers masquerade as comedians and bloggers. I use them here to drive some of the points home.

Pros of Living in America

  • Freedom. It’s nice knowing that someone’s not going to arrest you or kill you in your sleep because of something you did or said or believe.
  • Medical care. Among the best in the world, if you can afford it.
  • Luxury. All the conveniences and luxuries of daily life, like clean water, Advil, iPods, and hot showers with good water pressure, are readily available.
  • Military superiority. It’s good to know that if the shit hits the fan, we’ll probably be OK.

Cons of Living in America

  • Irrational patriotism. When asked why they think America is #1, most Americans can’t say anything meaningful. Yet their exuberance for it and their capacity to fight for it (“defend” it) is unmatched in the world.
  • Terrorist target. Because so many people hate us, America (specifically its big cities) are a target for terrorist attacks.
  • Asshole law enforcement/military types. Yes, what you’re doing is noble (most of the time), but do you have to be so pompous and arrogant about it?
  • In-your-face religion. If you are a religious person, fine. But it’s a private thing. Why does it have to be everyone else’s business? Why does it motivate major national decisions? Politicians won’t get elected unless they appear “religious enough”. “God Bless America” has replaced “Take Me out to the Ballgame” at Yankee Stadium since 9/11. And athiests? They are insensitive at best, villains at worst.
  • Cultural insulation. People have no desire to learn how people live in other parts of the world or how other countries function. It doesn’t occur to them that there might be a better way to do things and that there may be something to learn from others.
  • Entitlement. People think they deserve everything but get offended at the suggestion that they work for it or that they are responsible for it. This applies to kids or jobs or government benefits or food or that 3 feet of pavement between you and the car in front of you.
  • Greed. Everyone is trying to take your money all the time. Is money more important than happiness? Money is why politics, religion, education, sports, and the environment are ruined.
  • Blowhards. It seems that people are attracted to public figures who use a lot of words and say them loudly, even when they don’t have anything particularly interesting or helpful or correct to say.
  • The Elusive American Dream. Waste the prime of your life working your ass off so that you can do nothing for a few years or try to see the world before you croak? Sounds backwards to me. Consider a series of mini-retirements while you’re still young and healthy enough to fully enjoy them, as suggested by Tim Ferriss. Figure out what makes you happy, and spend your time and money achieving that. Die poor.
  • Misguided feminism. Women want either equality or chivalry, depending on what’s more convenient at any given moment.

    American women want to have it both ways. The American woman wants complete liberation and equality, but she still wants all the benefits of a traditional arrangement. That means having the man pay for dates to the man working while she stays home and hires nannies to care for the kids. That means getting to act like boorish like a man, but still mock and disdain those men who aren’t manly. On a fundamental level, American women don’t actually want feminism or equality. They want more power and less accountability. The American woman claims all the benefits and none of the obligations from either arrangement – which is what makes them so intolerable.

  • Bad parenting. People feel entitled to have as many kids as they want but don’t feel the responsibility to raise them properly.
  • Paperwork. It’s 2011. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?

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